I AM NOW A TRUE JEDI!

Hard to believe that it has been so long, but almost 3 years since I added a post to my blog. And its not because, like Ozzie Osbourne, I have no recollection of the events leading up to today.
It has been a very busy few years, with marriage, buying a house, getting a talking penguin, having a nap nap, and killing bad guys. Indeed the superstar lifestyle.

I AM NOW MR GANGSTER SULTANA

In my previous posts (from many moons ago), I reminded everyone that love is blind (Or my girlfriend was), and that I had found the woman of my dreams. She is however, no longer my girlfriend.......I am now HER wife :-)

And what a great wife. She wears my dressing gown, has full custody of my Wii, My Xbox and for all intents and purposes everything I own. She allows me 1/4 of the bed sometimes, and even lets me speak occassionally. AND I LOVE IT!

She says I am short, fat and stupid.......and I admire her honesty.

She is still my everything, and I love her. For our first anniversary (Paper one),for a present, she suggested divorce papers, but I told her I did not want to spend that much.
I never thought you could have roadrage with a trolly in a supermarket, but that is one of many new things I have learned from marriage.

I have also learned that little blue canisters are the most important thing in the universe, and that the word FISH is not to be spoken out loud!

OUR NEW ARRIVAL
It not very often that you would hear the following "A penguin stole my heart", but that is exactly what happened. he came into our life (very very slowly), and now is a big part of our life. He is a stinkybum poohead Martine loving, fish worshipping, nap naping, fart smelling pingu Fenguin! But he is OUR stinkybum poohead,Martine loving, fish worshipping, nap naping, fart smelling pingu Fenguin!

We also have many more invaders to our domain, including Harry and Hippobelly (who is not gay!). It has been rumoured they are people dressed as Hippo's, but no scientific proof! (no penguin, I did not say poof!)

There is much I have probably missed, as this does not look like 3 years of happenings (Unless you are Osama. Day 1. Stayed in cave, Day 2. Day in cave Day 3. Thought about leaving cave but...nah!)

I will now put my hand on the bible (Or the lego star wars cheat guide), and pledge to update my blog a little more.

Welcome to the Circus!

It seems that life is less like a rollercoaster and more like a ferry, in a tidal wave, filling with water, full of fat people doing the hokey cokey!

One minute things are looking rosey, the next the are looking like the script of a tragic movie, where the main characters are always losing out, in a method that is supposed to "make them stronger"
For me this is not too much of an issue. I still have a wonderful woman who really loves me, and cares how I am. As of late, my mood has been a bit changeable, not knowing where I am going, not sure where I have been. I am sitting in a job that seems to be created for some sort of robot monkey, and to say the least I am starting to think this is some sort of Zombie building.

I have not been feeling to great recently. Physically and mentally I feel a little drained, unchallenged and in a bit of a rut. My sweet little witch has been the light at the end of the tunnel, and for that I am truly grateful. She is one in a million.

My freinds, however open another can of worm shaped objects (possible worms)
They have recently done there best to win the best storyline in a wizarding soap award.
Girl meets wizard, moves in with wizard, meets wizards freind, falls in love, moves in with wizards freind.
Meanwhile the Wizard loves the manbeast, Manbeast loves herself, and they live happily ever after with gayboy, their anything but manly housefairy!
Maybe it has all worked out for the best. To be fair, they gave it a bash, and now they are LEGENDS!!!

Anyway, sure things will calm down from here, or I may be on the next bus to madtown, breakdown-ville. If i do you will all be the first to know.

SOMETHING IN THE WAY SHE MOVES............

It hits you like a fatman looking to steal your pie! She is here and here to stay.
As much as I would love to say I am the perfect guy , with the perfect attitude, and looks like a hunky movie star, If I am honest this ain't the case.
But suddenly , without warning (God doesn't send text's), a girl walks into my life who actually thinks I am of some worth and meaning to her life. Sometimes this isn't that easy to accept, always looking for "the catch", or some clause in the small print.
This time however, I am looking ahead. Suddenly the future looks bright, and I am loving every minute of it.

Though in effect, I have a lot of resons to be glad. Not going to babble on about woman of my dreams..... soul mate ....bla bla bla (though could for hours).
My extreme , if not subdued happiness, has to be down to a number of factors.

1. My Gangster Sultana.
We all remember the girl who either, we really wanted, but never had the nerve to ask out. Or the girl who wanted to be our freind, who we gave advise to on getting a man, how men think, but secretly wish would fall in love with you.
Or the girl who was so stunning that IF you ever tried to speak to her, all you could say was "ggrrmmph garap gunup hello" and throw up at the thought of having to ask her out.
Or the girl we watched in most flick chick movies (though you can't prove I watched them) who was romanced by the lead , he being the slightly cuddly or funny guy, her being the stunner. ( Why does John candy spring to mind?)
Well guess what?
I HAVE THAT GIRL!!! and I am not giving her up without a fight.


2. Suddenly, I like myself again!
I spent a long time thinking I was worthless, feeling as if I needed to change who I was to be accepted. This was only in my mind (note to self, I have a mind).
I am who I am and people tend to like this. Ok, my jokes suck, but only I can deliver them, in my stereotypical "I am Irish, therefore should say stupid things" sort of way.

3. I have freinds!
Though each of my freinds are as diverse and odd on you would tend to expect, they are my freinds, and each of them brings something to the table (though usually whiskey or beer)
each one has a role and a purpose, even if it is just pointing out the 9 of diamonds was the card I picked, or jumping down stairs.
The each and all add a little more purpose to my life, which I have to admit ain't half bad at the moment.

4. "THE PAD"
I am sitting in my apartment, with the realisation that I live in a mansion fit for a slightly inebriated rock star. while i have all the rock prowess of the Cheeky Girls or Donny Osmond, I have heated bathroom floor , and you can't take that away from me.
Who would have thought that eggcups make great candle holders, or that its possible to live on pizza, crisps and rusks. wonders will never cease.


So there you have it folks, have to say this has been easier than I though (though only I can tell this is draft number 86)
Onward and upward from here, or thats the theory. Maybe the medication is making me feel like this, or the fact it is almost the weekend, or that I am not at work!
Either way, hooray to all, joy to the world, If you're happy and you know it drink a beer,...etc etc etc.

* She just called to say she loves me. Feels great!
I would right a song about it, but get the feeling that it would infringe on copyright of a song already written.

Going to go now and wreak some habit on the unsuspecting world, with my trusty guitar playing, shell suit wearing, smiling and profiling, bearded( OMG its a real beard), home video superstar pal. That should pass about 5 minutes.

Dipping a toe in the water.....

Yeah you guessed it, it's the test everyone does.....